I’ve been meaning to write about this, but I need to get this off my chest from the past two days. I find writing out your thoughts and feelings is a great way to vent and self-reflect. The fact I am writing all of this brings me motivation to uphold my words. Socially media is the highlight reel and not often do you see someone pulling themselves out of their own ditch. And that is where the power self-love and self-discipline is needed the most.

It has been a few months since I lost my absolute best friend. Rarely is there a day that goes by without thinking of this person.

Letting go is what is best. Distance, of all forms, is a double edge sword. It protects your energy, but at the same time, can make you feel helpless.

Time is medicine; however, it doesn’t make you forget. Time is medicine because with time, you learn to cope, accept, and move forward. If you really love someone, there will always be a part of you that will always love that person.

Mourning and grief is not “a process to get through”. There are no definite “steps” or “timeline”. Sometimes you don’t get any closure and have to sit with “what ifs”, “I wonders”, and “I wish I could says”. Although it is a period of time that hurts, it is also an important time to redirect your energy and attention to yourself.

It is in this time, I grew a better relationship and understanding of myself. You can not love yourself, if you spend all your time trying to make someone else heal and love oneself. Everything starts with you. You can’t get help or heal if you, yourself don’t want or make effort to help yourself. You can’t learn to love yourself, if you spend your time running away from your own problems with others. You can’t move forward, if you don’t want to accept and move on. Friends can help and encourage, but ultimately it is solely your responsibility.

Learning to love yourself through all ups and downs is one of the most difficult things to do in life. It is something I have been struggling with all my life. Sitting with a self you dislike and regret is absolutely hard, because you are the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with 24/7. If you don’t like yourself, make this the motivation to improve everyday. Take the step everyday to love yourself again. Although it is hard, take the step everyday to become someone you love again. Self-love is a forever process and journey.

But I also want to remind that its okay to have those days (I’ve had many and will have) when you are not “motivated” to be a better version of yourself. It is okay to have days to feel sad, cry, or be mentally exhausted. Spending time to have a mental break is all part of the process of grieving and self-love. And when you are ready, get back up again.

I hope everyone will come to realize like working out at the gym, your mind needs care as well. Your brain needs to train like a muscle. We need to think of mental health the same way as physical health.

Upcoming post preview:

Part 2: When Motivation isn’t Enough…

If you have read this far, thank you so much for caring! I hope something in here resonates with you and I am always rooting for your success. 💖

Much love,

K