2019: Highest Mountains and Deepest Valleys

2019 was essentially the worst year of my life, but at the same time, was filled with many great experiences and growth. I’m writing this mainly for myself to reflect on and for anyone who resonates with my experiences. **Seems like there is a photo viewing glitch on mobile. Contacted WP hopefully they will fix!**

January

Started off the year with one of the most difficult experiences of my life unexpectedly becoming a director of a huge production with no time to spare.

From this experience, I learned I could endure such extreme amount of stress and mental hardship. However, I wish realized working your hardest/best does not mean working to the brink of a breakdown. I was reminded again of the power of many voices coming together. Being a leader is achieving your goals but at the same time, helping others achieve there’s. To all leaders, remember is OURS not mine.

Visited Seattle for the first time! This was the start of the greatest year of travel. See previous posts/ travel tab about my Seattle trip!

February

See previous posts about my belated Valentine’s Day dinner at a sake brewery in SF!

This was my favorite look early on the year ^^. Mauve tones and cool mauve/purple eye shadow. Strange how this changed later on the in the year.

March

Just realized I was at least somewhere every month so far LOL- Spring break in Korea! If you are interested in knowing more about my trip, see my travel tab/ previous posts!

The start of even more bad things happening started during finals week. This was the time my life shifted. Mental health and grades suffered, but was glad I had my girlfriends to spend 10 days in SK afterwards. Thankful for the close friends I was able to talk about it.

April

By this time, I already started to gain more self respect and self value, so I stood up for myself, especially for things that are important to me. Looking back, I am glad I started standing up for myself, even if it lead to arguments and feeling sad because I can’t let things that bother me slide forever. Seeing how others react when I discuss an issue really helped me see an important dimension of themselves.

May

Visited SF again and the legion of honor museum. Also tried Jeanne de’ arc and maaaaaan its amazing, highly recommend.

Second time going to EDC. It wasn’t as great as last year b/c lots of mishaps happened. Weather was cold and windy, couldn’t sleep well, friends’ admittance issues, among other things. However, my rave family expanded and I still had an amazing time regardless. Love and support them forever.

Bought a matcha set and made an amazing latte for the first time!

June

Graduated. However, as it seems in what is the most joyous of moments, I had a lot of hardship relationship wise and logistics of the process of this and moving out. A lot of these issues happened in prior months although I shared some of the highlights above. But I am extremely grateful for the night celebrating a great friend’s birthday with other loved ones and all the time I spent with my roommates. These memories I hold close to my heart and will cherish forever.

Also started summer classes 2 weeks later…aha…

July

Celebrated July 4th watching fireworks off Huntington beach pier!

Went to a friend’s birthday and engagement party and caught up with childhood friends and made connections!

During the month of July, I experienced almost post grad depression, with extreme lack of motivation for pretty everything. I didn’t want to get out of bed. A few days before my birthday, I got into the biggest argument/fight of my life and ended heartbroken and depressed. The 2 days leading to my birthday were really hard. I was depressed and mourning/preparing to lose a relationship. However, I put my feelings and self-respect aside so I could have a nice birthday. Looking back at this experience, I didn’t love myself and didn’t have enough self-respect for myself. A part of it was because I had a big heart to not let go and persevere. However, I am glad for this significant experience because it made finally letting go a lot easier. I learned to not feel guilty and/or be apologetic for how I feel.

Visited many foodie places! The one above, Phuoc Loc Tho summer night market, a new mall in Buena Park, and Porto’s.

August

I bought this self reflection book set (although pricey!) as an investment to myself. Finished my finals and found out a medical school mentorship program application was due in two weeks but I was going to Europe in a week. Hence, I had to write mini essays and a personal statement in a matter of days. Friday 5pm before my flight, I was finally able to pack…LOL. I did not rest after finals ^^”.

Flew over a thunderstorm! I saw lighting from above…an experience of a lifetime, so amazing. The clouds were so black!

Flew across the Atlantic for the first time landing in Madrid, where my 10 country and over 14 city journey began.

I became more humanitarian. Seeing the diversity in how people lived their life made me very empathetic and wanting to support those wherever I go. I traveled with people from all across the world from all walks of life. I lost a lot of self integrity and was put in challenging situations with not so great people. Looking back, I wish I didn’t let insignificant others influence my thoughts and actions. Even in situations that will make people dislike you, stay true to yourself.

Had a wonderful date night with a friend I have yet to met yet at an amazing italian restaurant in Long Beach. Will 11/10 go again, especially for their $2 oysters… the best I ever had.

I started liking warm-toned makeup, which was the opposite of my aesthetic earlier this year/ever. Another ironic thing was this happened after summer, when it would’ve been most appropriate for such tones. 😅

I had a week to recover from my 6 week Europe trip to start taking my postbacc classes…rip.

October

After being accepted to the mentorship program back in August, I went to my first meeting! I meant a good friend and study buddy in the program that was actually in my pathophysiology class!

Had a mini weekend trip in San Diego to visit my friends and go to the last show of the Alchemy tour! I am glad I was able to go because I missed the one closer to home since I was in Europe. Had a great time, met new people, had amazing food, and spend time with my best friends. Had fun day buzzed looking at art. They welcomed me with open arms and I am so thankful for them. It was also the first time driving by myself to and from San Diego so I was scared hahaha.

This month was the month I started to learn self love, being happy alone, and spending more time with my friends. I also caught up with a 626 friend and had her try korean hot dogs for the first time. Always down for Ktown.

I know this is random but I finally after months of looking, I copped a pair of Fig’s mauve limited edition scrubs. The most perfect color/ mauve color and I literally DM’ed a seller after it was sold to someone else online offering to pay a higher price and heeey who’s year just got made? mine XD

The first time being at a mall/ Del-amo mall in a long time. I bought and went shopping by myself for myself. I wanted to mention this because it was a significant moment I realized self love and how happy I can be by myself. Who’s going to spoil me the best? Me.

November

Even in my darkest moments, I still consider and care for others. Like earlier this year, I had to hold back my own feelings and pain for the greater good. However this time, I had more self respect and love for myself to let go what was a forever and accept what is not there. I learned to view things for what they are now and not what they can be. I am grateful for all the friends who reached out and went out of their way to cheer me up. To this day, I am still humbled to have such friends, because I never had such friends for the past 20 years of my life. These were friends that set the bar and redefined what friends are to me. They make me think what did I do to deserve them. Thank you for taking me to the breweries! Didn’t know you can be so creative with beer!

This month, I finally got my diploma, but I didn’t have much feelings for it because this piece of paper can’t contain all that I experience the 4 craziest years of my life, haha.

Visited Laguna beach for the first time and I didn’t know such a beautiful beach existed that was closer than the ones in San Diego! Saw many rainbows and even a double rainbow that day. I walked around and experience the Xmas decorations at Irvine Spectrum.

December

I started getting all my Black Friday orders and man I unexpectedly purchased A LOT. I finally hung out with friends I haven’t seen in months before winter break. I also perfected my most natural yet glam look to date! I caught up with my cousin and spent an afternoon exploring 626 and stocking up on junk favorites LOL.

I didn’t think I would do anything for Xmas or New years, but I am glad to spend it with extended family. I visited family and was able to shadow in my short time in SJ. I also had a reunion with my roommates who again remind me there are people who care for me more than I think.

I also went to the Monterey Bay aquarium and saw sea otters, puffins, penguins, sea turtles, live salmon, and more!

I spent new years eve with my cousin and nephews from Florida. It was cool to catch up and see how much they grown…5 inches above my height LOL. Had the best pho ever at Phoholic. No wonder why it was a 45 minute wait starting at 11am.

Drinking Stella Rosa and BTS for NYC countdown was a great way to ring in the new year!

2020, I hope you will be good to me…please 😃 If you have read this far, that really means a lot! Let me know if you learned anything new or similar from 2019! Wishing all of us success and happiness in our professional and personal lives.

Much Love,